Mosaic & Tarantula vs. Max Mini & Nova
This is a bonus match, replacing the Pillman-Love bout. Furious thought he would have raised my ire when he gave *** to a Max Mini match at last month’s PPV Ground Zero, but I actually wasn’t riled. Despite my noted hatred of midget wrestling, I actually secretly rather enjoy Max Mini, and I found some of these Lucha minis matches that were all over the cards in late 1997 to be quite entertaining. I remain convinced that Vince only started using them because he figured they were comparable to Rey Mysterio and his ilk in WCW. Hell, he probably thought they were “about the same size”. I won’t even attempt to call every spot in this, but suffice to say the speed of the execution is generally pretty impressive, even if the impact is lacking. Unfortunately, some of the sequences rather fall apart and at one point even Vince says “I don’t know what that was supposed to be”, but such is the nature of this kind of style. Referee Mike Chioda has no clue how to officiate this and just lets them get away with all being in the ring at once. JR teaches Vince how tag matches work in Mexico (sliding out of the ring constitutes a tag), but Vince still doesn’t care for it and finds it confusing. “I’m sure they will conform to WWF rules given time” says JR. Yeah, those midgets need to learn how to work! This is actually a real mess in some areas, with the timing on some of the spots embarrassing and business exposing. It suffers from a number of staples of bad lucha, such as a lack of selling, stopping spots in the middle of them because they had made such a mess of them, and rolling rather than bumping. I take back everything I said at the start; this is a car crash. I will give them the benefit of the doubt and blame the fact it was tacked onto the card at the last minute as an excuse. Mini scores the win with an UGLY armdrag into a crucifix, which might as well have been done in slow motion while they were shouting “WRESTLING IS FAKE” at the top of their voices. Now I remember why I dislike midget matches and why I dislike Lucha, but at least they kept the 60s-style comedy to a minimum.
Final Rating: ½*