WWF Tag Team Championship
The Headbangers (c) vs. The Godwinns
You thought the tag division was bad in 1992 and 1996? Well hell, look at this for a title match! The Brain Busters vs. The Rockers, it ain’t! JR wonders aloud what Sam Muchnick must think of the reigning champions. Infer from that what you will. The only positive I can say about the Godwinns during this run as heels is that their horrible clinky hillbilly music is slightly more bearable. Other than that they are the same sloppy hicks with little comprehension of how to put an entertaining match together. The Headbangers clearly feel the same way and try to MURDER Phineas on a flapjack. Phineas, in his infinite wisdom, decided to tuck his head and flip bump it instead of taking it flat on his face, and the result is him landing on his head. He is lucky he didn’t break his neck, and Vince says as much. For the record this is the third consecutive tag match on the show, which is horrible booking, irrespective of the fact that they had to change the card. They could have surely slotted something else in prior to this and moved things around. There are another TWO tag bouts on the card later on as well, which is overkill to the extreme. I love tag wrestling when it is done right, don’t get me wrong, but these guys are just sticking so rigidly to formula without even a hint of invention, that it is horrible to watch. I am struggling to recall a single good-honest wrestling hold in the first three matches combined, with this being all grinding and pounding and nothing more. When Steve Austin does it there is a difference, because he does it well and obviously oozes charisma, but the Godwinns are charisma black holes and induce apathy more than nearly anyone else on the roster. My God this heat on Thrasher has been going on for days. He finally makes the tag to Mosh (why wasn’t he called Mosher? It should have been Mosher and Thrasher or Mosh and Thrash. One or the other, not a mix of both), who lasts about five seconds before Phineas catches him in a sloppy sitout powerbomb for the win and the titles. Are you kidding me? Who wants to see that? Thankfully the LOD end their reign within a matter of days, which is also fairly baffling considering they lost in the opener. I can’t understand 1997 WWF at times; they had fabulous workers and some red hot characters in places, then goofy shit like the Godwinns elsewhere. God, this was awful.
Final Rating: DUD