In Your House 8: Beware Of Dog

Casket Match
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Goldust (c) vs. The Undertaker
Mr. Perfect, weirdly, claims Goldust will be the first person to beat Undertaker in a casket match if he wins here. I guess he, like me, opted to mentally erase the entire Undertaker-Yokozuna angle. This is 24 hours after Goldust gave an unconscious Ahmed Johnson mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. In our neck of the woods we call that “suicide”. Despite their expertise in mind games, neither guy can figure out how to make the match interesting, which is weird because they’re both talented big men. Goldust can sell, Undertaker has awesome offensive moves, it should be a no-brainer. Undertaker does get some fun stuff including the rope walk, but then we switch over to the heat which always sucks in a casket match, especially as Undertaker won’t (or can’t) sell. It’s just so boring but at least it’s far more animated than some of his casket stinkers with the likes of Kama. They get into it at ringside once Goldust remembers this is another no-disqualification match and Undertaker gets stuffed into the casket only to use his arm to prevent the lid from closing in a horrific visual. Or it would have been had it not been so comical. Goldust’s main offense is clotheslines and powerslams but they’re so half-hearted with no impact behind them. He tries to steal the rope walk, which works out badly for him, and Undertaker looks a show-in to win the title with a tombstone until Mankind jumps out of the casket and attacks. Undertaker goes back in the box thanks to a Mandible Claw, and Goldust retains. The match was okay and way better than the majority of casket matches but for whatever reason, Goldust and Undertaker could never put on a good match. I think Undertaker’s gimmick was too weird to get mixed up with another weird gimmick like Goldust’s. Paul Bearer opens the casket and Undertaker is gone, drawing audible laughs from the ringside fans who treat this bullshit like the joke it is. Ross on the other hand sells it like a pro, as a serious, genuine thing that’s happening. You’re a better man than me, Jim.
Final Rating: **

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