King of the Ring ’95

KOTR QF: Yokozuna vs. Savio Vega
Yoko beat Luger on count out to qualify. Savio beat IRS mere seconds ago to qualify. Razor Ramon is cornering him this evening after recovering from a minor injury that kept him out of tournament competition. Savio’s grasp of English is a little tenuous. Yoko riles up Hat Guy by waving the Japanese flag around. “GET OUTTA MY COUNTRY, YOU M*TH*RF*CK*R”. Savio retorts by waving his US/Puerto Rico flag around. Hat Guy? “GET OUTTA MY COUNTRY, YOU M*TH*RF*CK*R”. Hat Guy keeps himself amused by arguing with Jim Cornette. “GET BACK TO THE SMOKY F*CK*NG MOUNTAINS”. Yoko looks even heavier than last month. What the hell diet is he on? Is he just drinking milkshakes made from pig fat and ice cream? Iced Hog Smoothies. Hmm-mmm. Yoko gets a bit tired after doing nothing and applies a lengthy nerve pinch. Because Yoko is so fat I can’t even see Hat Guy to get his reaction. I can see Superfan Vladimir arguing with Jim Cornette though. Jim Cornette is the MVP of this match. He’s animated, he’s entertaining and keeping the crowd involved, which is one step up on Chinlockzuna. Savio clocks Yoko with the IRS killing spin kick so out comes Owen Hart to attack Razor’s injured ribs. It breaks down and Yoko gets his fat ass counted out. Yokozuna was worthless from mid ’94. All his ‘95 matches were horrible.
Final Rating: ¼*
Hat Guy Rating: Golf clap applause.

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