King of the Ring ’95

KOTR Final: Mabel vs. Savio Vega
Worst King of the Ring final, ever? Yep. This is Savio’s fourth (bad) match of the evening. Vince has taken to comparing him to Rocky Balboa, because once you’re this deep into a f*ck up nobody cares what you say or do. To be fair to Savio, he ended up being a credit to the company and wrestled some decent matches over the next two years. Mabel waddles his way through another snoozefest, probably unaware that this is literally the pinnacle of his career. I know he got a title shot out of it, but by then the WWF had actually realised he was useless. At this point he’s forcing his way into title contention, which is one of the biggest wastes of a tournament, ever. Anywhere. The crowd just doesn’t buy into two opening match wrestlers working the King of the Ring final. It REALLY doesn’t help that Mabel just works extended rest holds and Savio does NOTHING to counter that. It’s just so bad and slow and embarrassing. When Mabel goes to his SECOND bearhug of the match, the crowd just aimlessly boo. Like “what is this shit?” Mabel hooks a 0.8 Sags chinlock, but you can’t see it’s that sloppy because his arm is so fat. Seriously guy, if you’ve got fat arms it might be time to lose some weight. What does Hat Guy think of this? Well, he adjusts his collar slightly and the crowd stands up as one to chant “E-C-DUB”. Oh, my. They might as well be chanting “f*ck this match”. Savio fails with the spin kick. Mabel comes up short with a scoop splash. He hits a running, well walking, splash to win the tournament. This was the turd on the icing of the shitty cake that was King of the Ring ’95. Easily into negative stars and an embarrassment for the WWF. If that wasn’t enough Razor Ramon jumps in there only for Mabel to crush him too. Mabel makes the beating especially bad by delivering the sloppiest elbow drop you’ll ever see in the business. 1-2-3 Kid runs in to attempt a save and Mabel squashes him too. I bet Vince has nightmares about this night and wakes up in a cold sweat. Philly voices its displeasure by attempting to drown out Mo while he reads the proclamations. Garbage rains down on the fat f*ck while he sits beached on his throne. Sir Mo really drags it out as HATRED flies towards this angle from all directions. It all just runs SO long. Anyway, Fat F*ck the First is crowned King of the WWF. People still hate this booking decision to this very day.
Final Rating: -**
Hat Guy Rating: “F*CK YOU GUYS”

 

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