SummerSlam ’96




Arnold Furious: We’re in Cleveland, Ohio. Hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross & Mr Perfect. Lawler has a match tonight so he’s not commentating. Jake Roberts actually turned up for this PPV so Lawler’s match is still on. Ahmed Johnson’s isn’t however as his kidney problems caused him to forfeit the IC title.


The following is from the pre-show Free For All:


There’s a beach party going on, which gives Sable an excuse to run around in a bikini. Aldo Montoya wearing his head-strap and shorts makes him look like an uber-dork. Interesting that Marlena gets a huge pop for wearing her skimpy beachwear. She’d end up being the driving force behind Goldust’s face turn. Todd Pettengill makes creepy remarks about wanking into Sunny’s bikini. I’m not even joking about that. Steve Austin walks past for his match and threatens to kick Pettengill’s ass. His attitude is starting to pay off and he gets a decent reaction. Shame about his generic heel music.


Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna
Yoko was a WHALE by this point. Before the year was out he’d be sent home to get into a better shape than “round”. Austin flips him off, which would normally lead to a Stunner, but he runs into a Samoan Drop. Yoko goes for the Banzai Drop but he’s too fat and pulls the top rope off, allowing Austin to roll him up for the win. They’d done a similar finish before, most notably at WrestleMania X against Bret Hart, but this was the best version of it. I still don’t understand why they couldn’t rig the rope to do that at ‘Mania X. It would have made more sense than Yoko’s sudden inability to stand. Perhaps he suffered from an inner ear infection or something?
Final Rating: *


JR interviews the Undertaker and Paul Bearer. Jim mentions the Boiler Room Brawl is no DQ and asks Bearer about the match. Bearer mentions how the urn will be safe because he’ll be holding it. Hmm. In retrospect that sounds suspicious.


Backstage, Jerry Lawler appears to have shit in the pool so they call TL Hopper to sort it. Turns out it’s a chocolate bar. Poor guy. I bet he misses SMW already. They switch to a shot of Sunny sunbathing and WOW. That’s the money shot right there.


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