UK Rampage ’93

Fatu vs. Brian Knobbs
Take one DRINK for Afa and another for the term “Headshrinker”. Stereotypes ahoy! I’m fairly certain Knobbs is an American stereotype so I’ll take myself another swig of this tasty Chinese beverage, for which I’m not receiving financial enumeration for mentioning. On a wrestling point; who the hell booked THIS shit? Fatu vs. Knobbs? I can kinda see where they’re coming from, as Knobbs is over and Fatu is good. They were probably hoping Fatu would just carry Knobbs’ fat, useless ass to a passable match. Kudos to the Sheffield crowd though, as they pop the bejesus out of everything. JR mentioning Sheffield Wednesday is enough of a sports connection for me to grab another swigola. Tape reviewing is thirsty work. Someone air horns out a chant causing a full on CHUG, during which I miss Fatu superkicking Knobbs and have to rewind the tape. Because I’m hearing the air horn again, do I have to drink again? I’ll have to look it up in the rules that I made up ten minutes ago. Air horn, DRINK! More air horn, DRINK. More air horn, DRINK. More air horn, DRINK. More air horn, DRINK. More air horn, DRINK. On come on, you dick, put it away! I get the feeling these guys were a slight rotation away from an accidental Canadian Destroyer, as Knobbs bizarrely flips backwards on a backdrop. More air horn, DRINK. I get the feeling that rule is going to be killer. I have to beckon my wife over to get another beer. More air horn and I now owe the new beer a swig before it even arrives. I’ll take two for good measure. Fatu sits on Knobbs and as Knobbs pounds the mat, the air horn goes off every time. Jesus wept, I’ll be smashed before we’re in the midcard at this rate. By the way, Knobbs has taken charge of the match and made it about his fan friendly counting shit. Eventually Fatu sneaks a win with his feet on the ropes. I didn’t deliberately go under a star just so I could drink some beer. Honest.
Final Rating:  ¾*

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