UK Rampage ’93

Samu vs. Mr. Perfect
The usual two drinks for Afa and his charge. Perfect is probably the biggest babyface on the tour, so naturally he’s in the third match against SAMU. Who on Earth thought THIS was a good idea? Afa looks to be coughing up a fur ball at ringside. That doesn’t even make sense. Loads of air horn. I’m starting to get a buzz. Don’t harsh it, wrestlers! Do NOT harsh my buzz. I’m looking at YOU Samu. They do some nice leapfrogs and counters at speed, which I certainly wasn’t expecting. Loads of air horn. I think from now on you’ll have to just assume I’m drinking heavily throughout this show. You should do the same. They do a nice sequence to refer to the original counters sequence where Samu learns and belts Perfect with a clothesline. After that, the match settles into a methodical (read: “boring”) pace with lots of Samoan cheating, and it’s so dull that the air horn guy can’t be bothered. Keep in mind when Perfect walked out here the roof nearly came off and THIS is the match they put him in? I guess they wanted to milk his ring time like some kind of hobbled cash cow. Who can go longer than 10-minutes and is heel? And yes, the answer backstage was indeed; Samu. Is it me or does that name sound like it belongs on a killer whale? I type “Samu whale” into Google and realise I was thinking of Shamu. But come on, only one letter out. Maybe they could hire the whale and have a match. But would it be in water or on land? Obviously Samu would have a big advantage on land, but the whale has a lot of size. Not sure he’d stick to the rules though. Bloody whales. He would be the babyface though, having named one of his shows; Shamu: The Yankee Doodle Whale (thanks, Wikipedia). So he’d come out wearing the red, white and blue while Samu would be the evil frrrrnnrrrrr. Is this match still going on? What the hell? Perfect posts Samu’s knee, you wouldn’t be able to do that with a whale, but that goes nowhere. Samu misses off the top and the Perfectplex finishes. Yay! Babyface over, match over. Different usage of the two, obviously. It started out ok but it DRAAAAAAAAAAGGED.
Final Rating: *

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