UK Rampage ’93

The Brooklyn Brawler vs. Typhoon
Oh good grief. I feel bad for Sheffield. Sky Sports are being made to look pretty stupid too. Yeah, sure we’ll give you an exclusive card *snicker*. We’ll send over plenty of “big” talent, *hehe*. Except big means fat, apparently. JR is still reeling off sports information. Is there any sport he doesn’t watch? At least nobody has a rodeo scholarship in this one. One drink for Brawler’s ethnic stereotype. Air horn guy seems to have gotten bored so until Brawler hits the rest spots, I’m still relatively sober. You know this match goes 8-minutes long? Oops, spoke too soon on the air horn. DRINK. And now its just a constant noise. He sounds like a friggin’ truck and I’m out of beer. Uh oh. I probably should have planned that out better. And NOOOOO, Brawler goes to the chinlocking. Come here bottle of Wild Turkey, I need you. Fun fact; the most Wild Turkey I’ve drunk in one sitting is six shots. Two already here thanks to Brawler’s lengthy chinlocking. Bugger, better make it three because the last match didn’t make it to one star and I didn’t take a drink for that. I don’t understand why this match exists. Typhoon finishes with a powerslam after EIGHT MINUTES. DRINK!
Final Rating:  DUD

 

I can feel myself getting drunkerer as Lex Luger is interviewed backstage. Blaaaaah.

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