SummerSlam 2001

Steel Cage Match
WWF Tag Team Championship
WCW Tag Team Championship
The Brothers of Destruction (c) vs. DDP & Kanyon (c)
What a disaster this is. As I’m sure you’re aware, DDP had nonsensically revealed himself as the stalker of the Undertaker’s wife Sara, despite every wrestling fan on the planet already being resolutely aware of his marriage to the smoking hot ex-Nitro Girl Kimberly. From there, Undertaker senselessly destroyed Page in a non-match “confrontation” at the King of the Ring, all but killing the angle stone dead. Despite that, their feud rumbled on for another two months with Page building a shrine to Sara and bringing his old New Jersey Triad buddy Kanyon into things, presumably so the WWF could kill off two careers in one fell swoop.

Undertaker and Kane are actually the WCW Tag Team champions here, having beaten Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire on the August 7 edition of SmackDown!, while Page and Kanyon carry the WWF belts after beating previous champions the APA on the same night. And that’s where parity ends, as the Brothers of Destruction just completely squash DDP and Kanyon, battering them from pillar to post, all while the Alliance guys try to flee in abject fear like the total cowards we all know everyone from WCW to be. Yeah! Show us your overwhelming superiority, WWF guys! That’s what I’ve paid my pay-per-view money to see: an extended weekend TV squash match completely burying two guys who arguably could have been top players if not for this small-minded booking lark! Wooo! Last Ride his ass! Oh yeah, bang goes that People’s Champ vs. People’s Champ DDP vs. Rock main event so easy to promote that even Stevie Wonder could see it!

In fact, the only meagre offence DDP and Kanyon get the whole match is simply so Undertaker and Kane can work in a double sit-up spot, something which might have actually been effective if they’d actually shown some ass for more than 12 seconds first. They let Kanyon escape which leaves DDP alone with both of them, and Undertaker yanks him off the top rope with a chokeslam and finishes with the Last Ride to unify the titles in a travesty only topped by the Brothers’ WCW Tag Title defence against KroniK the next month at Unforgiven. It’s matches like this that resulted in so many smart fans growing to loathe the Undertaker during the first half of the 2000s, before his spectacular Lazarus-like rise as a super worker in the second half of the decade. Oddly enough, Undertaker and Kane would go on to drop both sets of belts in fairly clean fashion, the WWF straps to the Dudley Boyz and the WCW belts to Booker T and Test. Of course both of those teams were WWF-approved, unlike the DDP/Kanyon duo.
Final Rating: DUD
– In the medical room, a trainer attempts to tape up the Rock, but he won’t allow it. He does however stop to take a step backwards and of course, Shawn Stasiak goes flying over a bench, with Rock once again failing to acknowledge his presence.

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