WrestleMania 13

WWF Championship
Sycho Sid (c) vs. The Undertaker
Before we start, let’s dispel a long-standing misconception about this match. This is not the Undertaker-Sid match where the psychotic one shat himself in the ring, that actually came some four years earlier during the 1992 European Rampage Tour. Shawn Michaels, complete with beaming smile, joins us for commentary. Undertaker is clad in his original grey gloves/socks and ripped black shirt, which is a nice touch and sensible option after his run as a giant bat. The fact that this match is the main event is pretty wild, because the issue they had going in was hardly justifying of a WrestleMania main event. In truth this match was actually set a while ago, and only when the WWF Title situation became murky did it become the de facto main event. Sid has only actually ever worked at two WrestleManias and in both he has been in the main event, probably wrongly. On both occasions, he was gone from the company within a few months. What a strange career that man had. Bret Hart comes out and delivers a scathing promo on “phony” Shawn Michaels to start, before telling Undertaker they are no longer friends and that Sid is a fraud. If there was any question about what colour hat Bret was wearing before, there isn’t now. Sid, the heel, then powerbombs newly turned heel Bret Hart to shut him up. An Undertaker chokeslam would have been a better choice. This is certainly a unique way for a ‘Mania main event to begin. All of a sudden this match has been made No Holds Barred, according to Vince, making it three matches in a row where plunder and outside of the ring brawling are acceptable. Even with these new shortcuts available, Sid soon settles into his raison d’être: rest holds, but not before yet another brawl on the outside. In the middle of all the excitement, Shawn offers this shoot comment to the locker room: “You can’t control being the most popular guy, but you can control being the winner”. Sure, ducking out of a match is a sure-fire way to not have to do a job. This is a tedious affair, and Sid uses a bearhug for an age. Taker can’t get anything out of Sid even approaching what he managed with Diesel last year. Sid ups the excitement with a chinlock. Were the guys in the previous six-man and Bret and Austin the only ones who realised this was WrestleMania? The lack of effort is insulting. The highlight of the match is Shawn Michaels behind the announce desk, who lays it on thick about how much respect he has for Taker (read: fear) and his reactions when Bret Hart returns to the ring to waffle Sid with a chair are priceless. After more resting and lumbering around, Bret returns again and nails Sid with a stun gun on the ropes, with the interjection allowing Undertaker to hit the Tombstone and win his second WWF Title. This went on for far too long given the limitations of both guys against each other, and may well be the worst WrestleMania main event to date. Hell, it certainly did the worst buyrate. This gets an even harsher rating than it would on any other card, given that it was the main event of the supposed biggest show of the year. I wasn’t exactly expecting miracles, but it should have been much better than this.
Final Rating: ¾*

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